Maybe Next Time by Karin Kallmaker

Author:Karin Kallmaker [Kallmaker, Karin]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: ! Yes
ISBN: 9781931513265
Publisher: Bella Books
Published: 2003-08-15T05:00:00+00:00

Whose thighs spread in eagerness, whose body was on hers, undulating like the alania ocean?

Diana? No. Diana would not and could not be in her memories. Diana had never happened.

She wanted to believe that with all her heart.

Diana had never been in her life. If there was no Diana then there would be no Pam. The dreams of Diana’s mouth, her kisses, her tears were all fevered imaginings. She couldn’t remember what had never happened, could she?

She only accepted that what was coursing through her mind were memories when she slipped into dreaming — she knew the nightmares for what they were. Her wrist pinned in a vise, turned by an unseen tormentor, ever tighter. A violin of stone crashing down on her hand and everything shattered on impact.

Instead of applause, audiences jeered and jagged rocks broke her skin. A pack of wolves slavered, always behind her. Teeth sank into her arm. Her wrist was everything, the source of pain and genius. Violins still spoke to her, but she couldn’t give them voice. She heard their yearning for music, but she was wrung dry. Her wrist...

“Bree...”

Before the pain had been that night in L.A., when Jorie had sought her out for the first time.

When Jorie had wanted it so badly she had begged... She couldn’t hear Jorie’s voice over the pounding drum wired to her wrist.

“Wake up, Bree.”

Something soared past her face and she reached out with her good hand, catching the hard shell. Pulled firmly through the darkness of her nightmares, she seemed at last to rise toward the light. The wise, gentle eyes turned toward her briefly, then the great honumaoli faded away as Bree surfaced out of the dream.

Her swollen eyes wouldn’t focus on the still unfamiliar face. It took longer than it should have to recognize Mea gazing at her in concern.

“Penny and Jorie went out for the flowers, but it sounded like you were having a nightmare.”

“I guess,” Bree mumbled. She shoved her hair out of her face, aware that the T-shirt she was wearing was probably Penny’s and as such a bit snug. Light and fresh air streamed through the open window.

“Do you have pain meds I can get for you?”

“Yes. I mean, yes, but I’ll get them. I forgot last night.”

Mea just nodded and left the room, leaving Bree to struggle with her throbbing head. She managed sufficient sips of water to get down one pain pill. She’d need to eat before she could take the second one.

Sometimes she thought there was no point to the pills. The pain always came back. So why bother sending it away?

“I made you some eggs,” Mea said. “Jorie told me you used to like them scrambled. I hope you still do.”

Bree managed a low, “Thank you,” and blinked back tears. She made herself eat for the sake of another useless pill.

Mea’s hand on her shoulder caught her by surprise. She wanted to put her cheek on it and cry. Such an act would be far too weak.

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